Yes, we’ve all made mistakes, some more serious than others, some with worse impact and other milder. But hey, it’s ok, life goes on and we must learn to live with it.
I am the first who make mistakes, every day; when things can only have consequences for myself, then I can easily learn from them and move on, but when because of my mistakes I hurt others, even unintentionally, then I feel terrible and it is so hard to forgive myself.
Why is it important to forgive ourselves?
When we forgive ourselves we take a load off which allows us to see reality from another perspective and learn from the mistakes we made. This will improve our self-esteem and self confidence and consequently we will be happier.
We know that to err is human, but sometimes forget that to forgive makes us even more human; this doesn’t mean that we have to ignore our mistakes but to recognize them, accept them, learn from them, forgive ourselves and move on.
It’s about transforming what happened in a life experience, from which we draw a positive lesson.
Why is it so difficult to forgive yourself?
To me it has always been easy to forgive others; I consider myself very empathetic and my mind is pretty open to everything, so I can understand almost any situation and forgive the mistakes. The problem occurs when it comes to forgive myself.
I think generally for almost everybody it is harder to forgive themselves than others. We are more demanding and less comprehensive with ourselves.
When we make a mistake we have to deal with a lot of emotions, sometimes they can even be contradictory and that is not easy; it is essential to learn how to listen them and to understand how to manage them to give them a way out.
If we do not forgive ourselves, these emotions are trapped within us and they intoxicate us, creating insecurity and unhappiness.
It helps me a lot to imagine that after I make a mistake I’m not longer the same person, I’m a Neyu with new lesson, with more wisdom, so that I forgive that Neyu who had not had yet the opportunity to learn about that particular aspect which made her did a mistake.
It also serves me to think that if I do not forgive myself I am more miserable and I radiate negative energies, so that I damage those around me. Then “I force” myself to make the effort of forgiveness to avoid others suffering because of me
Another aspect that helps me is to share my guilt to someone I trust; when I express my mistakes I avoid denial. I have already said it, so after that I have no choice but to accept it. In addition, if I share it with the right person (someone who loves me and who can understand my situation), she/he can help me see the problem from other perspective, more objectively, without my personal emotions, so that the healing process will be much easier.
If my mistake had negative consequences for other people, then it would help me a lot to apologize, to tell the people I wronged that I was very sorry, and try to find a solution to the damage caused.
The last thing I try to do is to practice gratitude towards myself, accepting and being aware of my limitations, recognizing my strengths and be thankful for the lesson obtained.
Forgive yourself, you deserve it.
Live in the present, learn from the past and move forward.
Love and gratitude